Celebulous: Fantasy Celebrity

How It Began...

2007-02-12T17:00:00.000-08:00

Celebulous Celebrity Fantasy Rules

call me. stalk you. inspired by a recent bill simmon's column on fantasy leagues, i am going to strike while the idea is hot and start my own celebrity fantasy league. you will draft celebrities and then accrue points for the appearance of your celebrity in that most essential of gossip rags, "us weekly." girls, stop screaming, i know it's a dream come true. it's really a ploy to get you to play a fantasy game that you can really get behind so that you will graduate to real fantasy sports. and guys, you know you read us weekly, keep it real, join the league too.

what you'll need:
(1) access to us weekly each week
(2) dedication to wasting your time reading about celebrities
(3) a thorough knowledge of aforementioned celebrities
(4) not a whole lot more quite frankly

here are the proposed rules:
(1) a trial ten week season (june through about august including the playoffs)
(2) head-to-head weekly matchups
(3) you will receive points based on how often one of your celebrities' pictures appears in that week's issue -- 5 pts for a cover, 3 pts for a cover inset, 2 pts for solo picture in the issue, 1 pt for a group picture in the issue, etc.
(4) you will have 3 female celebrities and 3 male celebrities on your team
(5) we will conduct a draft via email to acquire our celebrities
(6) you will be able to add/drop celebrities each week before setting lineups on friday for the upcoming week.

detailed rules and the exact way this will all work available to interested parties later. for now, who wants to play? yes george, i see you, who else?
5.15.2006 : 11:39 PM

Overall Standings (WK 6) FINAL

2006-07-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

(1) Janelle -- 120
(2) Jon -- 101
(3) Des -- 92
(4) Lilly -- 71
(5) George -- 66

(6) Kat -- 59
(7) Ryan -- 44
(8) Hong -- 36
(9) Amit -- 30
(10) Tabitha -- 29

A model of consistency, our champion and inaugural official celebrity expert is Janelle. Never finishing worse than 3rd place in any of the weeks of competition, Janelle also never scored lower than 13 points in any of her weeks. In fact, with an average of 20pts per week, Janelle could set the new scoring standard for many seasons to come. Fueled by super baby Sean Preston Spears (44 pts) and the partying duo of Jessica Simpson (25 pts) and Kevin Federline (24 pts), Janelle took on all comers and really pulled away in Week Five as she managed a dominating 24 point performance to secure the lead and the win. Even lesser lights like Carmen Electra and Mischa Barton combined for 19 points on the season, nearly outpacing the output of some of our league's weaker teams.

A big high-five to Janelle for winning, and a year's worth of US Magazines to you!

To look at our league's final detailed scoring, please click on this Excel file. We're so high tech here.

Top Five Individuals (WK 6)

2006-07-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

Girls
(1) Britney Spears -- 67
(2) Jennifer Aniston -- 48
(3) Angelina Jolie -- 37
(4) Nicole Kidman -- 29
(5) Jessica Simpson -- 25

Guys
(1) Sean Preston Spears -- 44
(2) Kevin Federline -- 24
(3) Brad Pitt -- 22
(4) Vince Vaughn -- 21
(5) Nick Lachey / Tom Cruise -- 14

Week Six Scores

2006-07-10T18:03:00.000-07:00

(1) George -- 14
(2) Amit -- 14
(3) Janelle -- 13
(4) Jon -- 10
(5) Hong -- 8

(6) Tabitha -- 7
(7) Lilly -- 6
(8) Kat -- 4
(9) Ryan -- 2
(10) Des -- 1

Heading into our final week, Amit finally goes from ashy to classy. Behind a Tom Cruise cover, Amit scores a nifty 14 points and is vindicated for the season. In a battle of the exes, Nicole Kidman scored 11 points to Tom's 10 points, vaulting George to number one for the week in a tie-breaker. In other exciting news, Hong cracks the Top 5 yet again with another semi-strong showing. For some reason, Tori Spelling wasn't picked up even after a huge cover and article last week. Her cover insert goes unscored. Des must be rueing the day she dropped Katie Holmes, especially since Britney finally, finally, disappeared (almost) from the pages of the magazine.

Top Five Individuals (WK 5)

2006-07-07T10:08:00.000-07:00

Girls
(1) Britney Spears -- 68
(2) Jennifer Aniston -- 42
(3) Angelina Jolie -- 35
(4) Jessica Simpson -- 20
(5) Nicole Ritchie / Lindsay Lohan -- 19

Guys
(1) Sean Preston Spears -- 43
(2) Kevin Federline -- 24
(3) Brad Pitt -- 22
(4) Vince Vaughn -- 19
(5) Nick Lachey -- 13

Team Rosters (Week 5)

2006-07-06T10:03:00.000-07:00

Kat
Angelina Jolie
Sarah Jessica Parker
Matthew McConaughey
Scarlett Johansson
Adam Brody
Gavin Rossdale

Amit
Tom Cruise
Teri Hatcher
Halle Berry
Paul Abdul
George Clooney
Patrick Dempsey

Ryan
Lindsay Lohan
Keira Knightley
Jennifer Lopez
Ryan Seacrest
Marc Anthony
Adam Sandler

Lilly
Paris Hilton
Brad Pitt
Vince Vaugn
Katharine McPhee
Beyonce Knowles
Ryan Reynolds

Des
Britney Spears
Denise Richards
Cameron Diaz
Jude Law
Justin Timberlake
Jake Gyllenhall

Jon
Jennifer Aniston
Nick Lachey
Gwen Stefani
Ben Affleck
Ashlee Simpson
Adrian Grenier

Janelle
Jessica Simpson
Kevin Federline
Carmen Electra
Sean Preston Spears
Mischa Barton
Keith Urban (drop Ryan Phillipe)

George
Nicole Richie
Kristin Cavalerri
Nicole Kidman
Taylor Hicks
Matt Damon
Richie Sambora

Tabitha
Eva Longoria
Jessica Alba
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
Maddox Jolie-Pitt
Hugh Jackman
Colin Farrell

Hong
Johnny Depp
Orlando Bloom
Reese Witherspoon
Kate Bosworth
Heather Locklear
Jamie Foxx

TomKat!

2006-07-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

Finally, a sigh of relief as TomKat makes an appearance on the cover. Too little too late maybe, but at least the Spears-Federlines were shut out of the cover for the first time. And how about that Nicole Kidman? She's on the cover for two weeks in a row and that's just gotta warm George's heart. Nobody thought Tori Spelling would be on the cover again (she's still a free agent)? Shame shame...

Overall Standings (WK 5)

2006-07-04T23:23:00.000-07:00

(1) Janelle -- 107
(2) Des -- 91
(3) Jon -- 91
(4) Lilly -- 65
(5) Kat -- 55

(6) George -- 52
(7) Ryan -- 42
(8) Hong -- 28
(9) Tabitha -- 22
(10) Amit -- 16

Janelle shoots up to the top and has given herself quite a cushion heading into the homestretch. Can Des or Jon catch her? It's not looking good. But with Britney, anything can happen. More importantly, can Hong maintain his lead over Tabitha? Or will her US Weekly reading skills give her the gossip queen crown in that relationship? To be continued...

Add/Drop (Week 5)

2006-07-04T11:50:00.000-07:00

(1) Janelle - Add Keith Urban, Drop Ryan Phillippe

Week Five Scores

2006-07-03T11:50:00.000-07:00

unofficial scores

(1) Janelle -- 24
(2) George -- 20
(3) Des -- 16
(4) Ryan -- 15
(5) Hong -- 11

(6) Lilly -- 10
(7) Jon -- 5
(8) Kat -- 5
(9) Tabitha -- 1
(10) Amit -- -3

Janelle vaults into the lead behind another strong showing from Sean Preston Spears. Jon totally took a dump this weekend and it looks like his team has gassed out. George has decided to finally join in the game and scored a nice 20 points behind her two Nicoles. In a topsy turvy week, Ryan and Hong both notched top five showings while Lilly and Kat fell a little short of their normal scores. Amit, -3 (negative)? Ouch.

The word spreads...

2006-06-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

We now have a sister celebrity fantasy league. Well, sort of. Lilly's friends' friend has started a league. It'll be interesting to follow along on the adventures of another team. Team cheer! Care bear stare!

So NoTORIous

2006-06-28T20:16:00.000-07:00

What an upset! No Britney or Angelina on the (main) cover. The Spear-Federline's are still all over the place but it's Tori Spelling on the main cover. 90210 is back! How excited are we? Lilly made a great pickup of Aaron Spelling and George can finally hold her head high after landing both of her Nicole's on the cover. Here we go folks, can a new king/queen reign?

Overall Standings (WK 4)

2006-06-27T23:07:00.000-07:00

(1) Jon -- 86
(2) Janelle -- 83
(3) Des -- 75
(4) Lilly -- 55
(5) Kat -- 50

(6) George -- 32
(7) Ryan -- 27
(8) Tabitha -- 21
(9) Amit -- 19
(10) Hong -- 17

Janelle is making a mighty push to get to that coveted #1 spot. Des is riding Britney up to a strong third, and within striking distance of a championship. Everyone else? Better hold your hands and pray.

Add/Drop (Week 4)

2006-06-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

(1) Hong - Add Jamie Lynn Sigler, Drop Heather Locklear
(2) Lilly - Add Aaron Spelling, Drop Ryan Reynolds

Week Four Scores

2006-06-26T23:04:00.000-07:00

(1) Des -- 27
(2) Janelle -- 25
(3) Jon -- 19
(4) George -- 16
(5) Lilly -- 12

(6) Ryan -- 8
(7) Kat -- 8
(8) Amit -- 6
(9) Tabitha -- 4
(10) Hong -- 4

Team Rosters (Week 4)

2006-06-22T23:04:00.000-07:00

Kat
Angelina Jolie
Sarah Jessica Parker
Matthew McConaughey
Scarlett Johansson
Adam Brody
Gavin Rossdale

Amit
Tom Cruise
Teri Hatcher
Halle Berry
Paul Abdul
George Clooney
Patrick Dempsey

Ryan
Lindsay Lohan
Keira Knightley
Jennifer Lopez
Ryan Seacrest
Marc Anthony (drop David Arquette)
Adam Sandler

Lilly
Paris Hilton
Brad Pitt
Vince Vaugn
Katharine McPhee
Beyonce Knowles
Ryan Reynolds

Des
Britney Spears
Denise Richards
Cameron Diaz (drop Vanessa Minillo)
Jude Law (drop Ashton Kutcher)
Justin Timberlake
Jake Gyllenhall

Jon
Jennifer Aniston
Nick Lachey
Gwen Stefani
Ben Affleck
Ashlee Simpson
Adrian Grenier (drop Tobey Maguire)

Janelle
Jessica Simpson
Kevin Federline
Carmen Electra
Sean Preston Spears
Mischa Barton
Ryan Phillipe

George
Nicole Richie
Kristin Cavalerri
Nicole Kidman
Taylor Hicks
Matt Damon
Richie Sambora

Tabitha
Eva Longoria
Jessica Alba
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
Maddox Jolie-Pitt
Hugh Jackman
Colin Farrell

Hong
Johnny Depp
Orlando Bloom
Reese Witherspoon
Kate Bosworth
Heather Locklear
Jamie Foxx

No More Britney!

2006-06-21T22:55:00.000-07:00

People are sick of Britney (or just bitter because they didn't draft her). Four covers in four weeks. Two pictures on one cover! And this time it's K-Fed and Sean Preston with her so that's 10 points for Janelle before she even turns the page. The big stunner here, of course, is Nicole Kidman making a surprise appearance on the cover after four shut out weeks. George is getting ready to make her late season comeback. Can she do it? How many wonders does one magazine hold? Has it got gizmos and gadgets aplenty? Whositz and whatitz galore?

Add/Drop (Week 3)

2006-06-20T08:53:00.000-07:00

(1) Ryan - Add Marc Anthony, Drop David Arquette
(2) Desiree - Add Cameron Diaz, Drop Vanessa Minnillo
(3) Jon - Add Adrian Grenier, Drop Tobey Maguire
(4) Desiree - Add Jude Law, Drop Ashton Kutcher

Overall Standings (WK 3)

2006-06-20T05:53:00.000-07:00

(1) Jon -- 67
(2) Janelle -- 58
(3) Des -- 48
(4) Lilly -- 44
(5) Kat -- 42

(6) Ryan -- 19
(7) Tabitha -- 17
(8) George -- 16
(9) Hong -- 13
(10) Amit -- 13

The cream of our league is slowing separating themselves out from the rest of the pack. Through the entire season, Jon, Janelle, Des, Lilly, and Kat have been dominating everyone else. The top five average 43.8 each while the bottom five average 13.6 per team. Big difference hunh?

Week Three Scores

2006-06-19T18:00:00.000-07:00

(1) Lilly -- 21
(2) Jon -- 19
(3) Janelle -- 17
(4) Des -- 16
(5) Kat -- 14

(6) Ryan -- 9
(7) George -- 7
(8) Amit -- 6
(9) Tabitha -- 5
(10) Hong -- 3

We've got a new winner this week folks! Lilly, with an outstanding 21 points, takes the top spot with her man-licious combo of Brad and Vince. The only wrong move Lilly made all week was releasing Jack Black right before Nacho(ooooooo) Libre was released. Still, 21 points vaults her back into contention for the championship.

Jon and Janelle are still going strong, securing the #2 and #3 spots this week. Neither of them have been below the top three so far in the season and their lowest point total in any week so far has been 17 points.

And what about Kat? With another Angelina cover, Kat scores 14 points yet again. That's three straight weeks of 14 points! How is that possible? Is it a cosmic coincidence or a sign of stunning stability?

Showing that trashy is never out of style, Britney continues to rack up points each week. Who's not racking up points? How about Keira Knightley, with a grand total of -1 points for the season. Ryan keeps the faith however, knowing that Keira will have to blow up eventually. The key words there are "faith" and "eventually."

And here's to some more losers. How about that Matt Damon? How about Nicole Kidman? 0 pts for the season for both. And you wonder why George is skimming the bottom... Fellow bottom feeder Hong has his top three picks (Depp, Bloom, Clarkson) scoring a total of 2 points in three weeks. Not exactly a recipe for success.

US Weekly subscriber and celebrity fantatic Tabitha isn't doing too hot either. Her Jessica Alba has nearly outscored the entire rest of her team despite accumulating only 8 points total. And what about Amit? Did he recover from last week's goose egg? Yes he did, with a resounding 6 points, half of which were acquired by George Clooney.

It's not looking good for some of our team owners. Have they lost interest? Or will they fight on? Remember, anything can happen and if we're playing to six weeks, there's still a lot of covers and pictures to count up!

Who Is That Masked Man?

2006-06-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

Top Five (WK 2)
Girls
22 -- Britney Spears
19 -- Jennifer Aniston
18 -- Angelina Jolie
14 -- Ashlee Simpson
08 -- Jessica Simpson

Guys
17 -- Sean Preston Spears
10 -- Brad Pitt
09 -- Matthew McConaughey
08 -- Kevin Federline
07 -- Vince Vaughn

Mr and Mrs Smith

2006-06-14T14:53:00.000-07:00

Finally, the cover we've all been waiting for: Angelina and Brad. But, where's the new baby? And Maddox (and that black one)? While Kat is reveling over her third Angelina cover in just as many weeks, Lilly is just as happy to see her main men Brad Pitt and Vince Vaughn both make high profile appearances.

Apparently nothing will get Britney off the cover, especially if she is indeed "an emotional wreck." What will the inside of the magazine look like? We can't wait to find out.

We See Celebs Too!

2006-06-14T11:56:00.000-07:00

In reference to our earlier post about the spotting of Kristin Cavallari, our top reporter (and our only reporter) in the LA area, Desiree, unearthed this gem:

"Ooh ooh! I saw the pics of Kristen in that short white shirt-dress thing from Friday night! (refer to pic I'm sending you) You saw her??? She was at Paris' house party that night too! Man, she should not be getting this much publicity."

Note how dead-on the description of Kristin's outfit was with the actual outfit she wore. It must be pointed out that all of this was captured with a three second glimpse of Kristin.

Add/Drop (Week 2)

2006-06-13T23:05:00.000-07:00

(1) George - Add Matt Damon, Drop Gwen's Baby
(2) Hong - Add Reese Witherspoon, Drop Kelly Clarkson
(3) Lilly - Add Ryan Reynolds, Drop Jack Black
(4) Kat - Add Scarlett Johansson, Drop Demi Moore
(5) Des - Add Vanessa Minillo, Drop Katie Holmes
(6) Janelle - Add Ryan Phillippe, Drop Jude Law

Overall Standings (WK 2)

2006-06-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

(1) Jon -- 48
(2) Janelle -- 41
(3) Des -- 32
(4) Kat -- 28
(5) Lilly -- 23

(6) Tabitha -- 12
(7) Ryan -- 10
(8) Hong -- 10
(9) George -- 9
(10) Amit -- 7

Week Two Scores

2006-06-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

(1) Jon -- 28
(2) Des -- 23
(3) Janelle -- 23
(4) Kat -- 14
(5) Lilly -- 7

(6) Hong -- 5
(7) Tabitha -- 5
(8) Ryan -- 4
(9) George -- 1
(10) Amit -- 0

Building on a nice first week, Jon again scores the top spot, mainly on the strength of his prescient pick up of Ashlee Simpson. Cries of foul play and "cheater" quickly followed when Ashlee appeared on the cover and then subsequently racked up 14 points. In a press release Jon stated that "I had no advance knowledge of Ashlee appearing on the cover, I did not illegally pre-pick up Ashlee, I did not try to talk anyone out of taking Ashlee. I guess it was just the celebrity gods helping me out. I just have to give it up to them. I am not a crook."

While Jon had a great week, Janelle and Des were hardly slouches themselves, accumulating astounding totals of 23 points apiece. Des had the mighty power of Britney (16 pts) behind her. Britney has been literally carrying Des to the top, outscoring the rest of her team by more than double. Proving that Spears-Federline is the royal family of gossip, Janelle continues to ride Sean Preston (10 pts this week, 7 last week) and K-Fed (6 pts) up the charts.

Kat's riding a nice little wave of covers, with Angelina last week and Matthew McConaughey on an inset this week. With matching back-to-back 14 point weeks, Kat is waiting for another Angelina and baby cover, which is pretty much destined to come this month. Kat is suffering from some blues however, as Sarah Jessica Parker and Demi Moore have yet to score. Plus, Adam Brody is at -2 points for the season.

Speaking of low scores, George and Amit combined this week for a grand total of 1 point. Nicole Richie and Halle Berry both had "They Do It Too" to negate their positive points. Out of 12 celebrities combined, George and Amit could only get one point from Richie Sambora (a recent add/drop by George no less, otherwise...). Still, hope shines eternal and this is only our second week. Despite not accumulating any points this week, Kristin Cavalerri was seen by Jon and Hong on the streets of LA. Hong promptly lost his mind and got super excited and Jon pretended like he didn't know who Kristin was. Gotta maintain that rep bro. There should be an extra super bonus for actually seeing and saying "hi" to your celebrity. Like you get 20 points or something.

First Person Perspective:
Kristin was wearing a long white t-shirt/skirt type of thing. Very loose, very blousy. She rolled up with her boyfriend Brody Jenner and was rushed immediately into Hollywood's "The Lobby." Kristin had short hair with blonde and dark streaks and looked much taller in real life. The car she rolled up in was black. Yes, definitely black.

Ryan and Hong are basically just praying for huge coverage for Pirates of the Caribbean. Without covers and/or in-depth stories, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Keira Knightley are looking like dead weight. The only celebrity worth her wait so far is Lindsay Lohan for Ryan, and she's been decidedly sub-par. At least Hong has Kate Bosworth as Superman approaches right?

And in our final note, Tabitha had a little gender snafu as she tried to slip Shiloh Pitt-Jolie a p-nis under the cover of night and classify her as a boy. Instead, astute celebrity player Ryan pointed out that Shiloh was a female and thus not exchangeable for Hugh Jackman. Ryan also won $5 from Janelle, since she thought Shiloh was a boy too. So even if Ryan isn't winning at the league, he's the only one of us so far who's made any money playing it.

Where are you US Weekly?!

2006-06-09T16:23:00.000-07:00

it's infuriating. imagine being a fantasy football player, waking up on sunday, and then finding out that all the games have been cancelled. or a better analogy would be that your cable went out and you can't watch anything. that's what my day has felt like. i've been looking for a us weekly all day. costco, ralphs, and rite aid still stocked the old issue. one of the gas stations i went to didn't even have a magazine rack. ludicrous, i know.

i carefully scoured the cover of last week's us weekly and looked for the "display until (blank)" date -- june 12th. today is the ninth. what's a guy to do? i've never wondered about the distribution methods of magazines before. i mean, what made more sense? that the magazine was late or that some lazy employee wasn't stocking us weekly on time? it occcured to me that maybe i was wrong, that us weekly's were only released on mondays or something. however, i soon talked myself out of that disheartening idea. i had read and verbally confirmed with many people that us weekly came out on fridays.

so where was it?

i was driving around trying to figure out what sort of establishment was most likely to be carrying the current issue. clearly supermarkets and gas stations were not the answer. the logical choice would have been bookstores. but i wasn't anywhere near one. oh, did i mention that i've been at work all day?

my friday has been shot.

Britney (and Sean Preston) Say "Bye" to Daddy?

2006-06-07T10:36:00.000-07:00

another week, another britney and baby on the cover. except this time they've moved to the front! i think it's only a matter of time until pets of celebrities are taken because i'm sure we're going to run out of prominent babies at this rate. in what has to be a surprise, matthew mcconaughey gets a cover inset and sure to be inside article. kat must be very excited right now. what foresight to pick matthew with her third pick. and how about those simpsons? jessica and nick on the outs, ashlee with a new nose, is nobody going to pick cacee cobb? oh wait, is she still feuding with jessica? is she more nick's friend than jessica's? who knows?!

Team Rosters (Week 2)

2006-06-06T23:50:00.000-07:00

Kat
Angelina Jolie
Sarah Jessica Parker
Matthew McConaughey
Demi Moore
Adam Brody
Gavin Rossdale

Amit
Tom Cruise
Teri Hatcher
Halle Berry
Paul Abdul
George Clooney
Patrick Dempsey

Ryan
Lindsay Lohan
Keira Knightley
Jennifer Lopez
Ryan Seacrest
David Arquette
Adam Sandler

Lilly
Paris Hilton
Brad Pitt
Vince Vaugn
Katharine McPhee
Beyonce Knowles
Jack Black

Des
Britney Spears
Denise Richards
Katie Holmes
Ashton Kutcher
Justin Timberlake
Jake Gyllenhall

Jon
Jennifer Aniston
Nick Lachey
Gwen Stefani
Ben Affleck
Ashlee Simpson (drop Rachel McAdams)
Tobey Maguire (drop Bruce Willis)

Janelle
Jessica Simpson
Kevin Federline
Carmen Electra
Sean Preston Spears
Mischa Barton
Jude Law

George
Nicole Richie
Kristin Cavalerri
Nicole Kidman
Taylor Hicks
Richie Sambora (drop Matt Damon)
Gwen's Baby

Tabitha
Eva Longoria
Jessica Alba
Sienna Miller
Maddox Jolie-Pitt
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt (drop Hugh Jackman)
Colin Farrell

Hong
Johnny Depp
Orlando Bloom
Kelly Clarkson
Kate Bosworth
Heather Locklear
Jamie Foxx

Add/Drop (Week 1)

2006-06-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

(1) Tabitha - Add Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, Drop Hugh Jackman
(2) George - Add Richie Sambora, Drop Matt Damon
(3) Jon - Add Ashlee Simpson, Drop Rachel McAdams
(4) Jon - Add Tobey Maguire, Drop Bruce Willis

Week One Scores

2006-06-05T13:31:00.000-07:00

also represents standings

(1) Jon -- 20
(2) Janelle -- 18
(3) Lilly -- 16
(4) Kat -- 14
(5) Des -- 9

(6) George -- 8
(7) Tabitha -- 7
(8) Amit -- 7
(9) Ryan -- 6
(10) Hong -- 5

In our inaugural week, it was clear that whoever had Angelina would probably have a great start to the season. Kat certainly had to be happy with Angelina’s dominating 14-pt individual performance but not so happy with the rest of her team pulling a big fat zero (Gavin’s 2 pts were negated by Adam Brody’s appearance in “They Do It Too.”)

Brad and Maddox owners must have been miffed to not see the two of them on the cover, but Brad recovered nicely with a strong 6 points for Lilly. With a strong showing by Vince “Sloppy Seconds” Vaughn (4 pts) Lilly had a great start to her season as well powered by her two men dominating the spotlight.

Amit was one of two teams (Janelle was the other) to have his entire team put points on the scoreboard. Halle Berry was his top X-factor with 3 pts. Tabloid queen Britney and still hot item Denise Richards racked up 8 pts for Des on what might even be deemed a “slow” week. With a well balanced showing, Janelle had super sleepers Carmen Electra (5 pts, 1 on a baby picture of Mrs Electra) and Sean Preston Spears (7 pts) leading the way, powering her to a strong second place for the week.

It’s looking like the selection of babies and mothers could really pay dividends. All of these moms and kids are showing up everywhere. For example, Gwen Stefani had a very surprising 7 pts, and the battle of the babies had Sean Preston Spears (7 pts) vs Maddox Pitt-Jolie (3 pts).

And how about that American Idol thing? Taylor Hicks (3 pts) narrowly edged out Ryan Seacrest (2 pts) and Katherine McPhee (1 pt) for top honors – not to exclude Kelly Clarkson’s 1 pt.

The big surprise this week is Jon sitting up top (of the world and the league) with a whopping 20 big points. Behind Jennifer Aniston’s awe dropping 10 pts, the question is, has he peaked too early?

Bradgelina Hits the Newstands

2006-05-31T12:08:00.000-07:00

the game starts today. i know we've all been excited to finish the draft and it's finally done. and not a moment too soon as the new cover was unveiled just a few short minutes ago. looks like kat is well on her way to an early lead. of course, i have gwen and aniston on the cover so really, i'll be nipping right at her heels.

Who will win?

2006-05-31T12:01:00.000-07:00

Early Odds-On Favorite: Desiree. Britney and Denise should provide tabloid coverage forever. Can her boys (Ashton, Justin, Jake) keep up? Do they even need to for Des to win?

Dark Horse: Lilly. With two of the best men (Brad and Vince), both of whom are poised for huge summers in the magazine, Lilly might not need much more than party princess Paris alongside her pillars of male strength.

Destined for the Cellar: All the boys. It sure looks like the boys are giving an early advantage to most of the girls' teams. Questionable picks abound. Keira Knightley, Round 2 worthy? Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom, 1 and 2 picks for your team? Jennifer Aniston over Jessica Simpson? Tom Cruise overall #2 pick? Bruce Willis? The boys better hope they know what they're doing, otherwise they may quickly be relegated to backpage status.

Jamie Foxx with two "X's"

2006-05-31T11:21:00.000-07:00

it's starting to dawn on me that if you can't spell your celebrity's name right, you probably shouldn't be playing this game. but it's okay. why penalize the bad spellers when they already suffer so? in this circle of so called "celebrity experts," i've seen more misspellings during the draft than should be acceptable.

Team Rosters (Week 1)

2006-05-30T11:38:00.000-07:00

Kat
Angelina Jolie
Sarah Jessica Parker
Matthew McConaughey
Demi Moore
Adam Brody
Gavin Rossdale

Amit
Tom Cruise
Teri Hatcher
Halle Berry
Paul Abdul
George Clooney
Patrick Dempsey

Ryan
Lindsay Lohan
Keira Knightley
Jennifer Lopez
Ryan Seacrest
David Arquette
Adam Sandler

Lilly
Paris Hilton
Brad Pitt
Vince Vaugn
Katharine McPhee
Beyonce Knowles
Jack Black

Des
Britney Spears
Denise Richards
Katie Holmes
Ashton Kutcher
Justin Timberlake
Jake Gyllenhall

Jon
Jennifer Aniston
Nick Lachey
Gwen Stefani
Ben Affleck
Rachel McAdams
Bruce Willis

Janelle
Jessica Simpson
Kevin Federline
Carmen Electra
Sean Preston Spears
Misha Barton
Jude Law

George
Nicole Richie
Kristin Cavalerri
Nicole Kidman
Taylor Hicks
Matt Damon
Gwen's Baby

Tabitha
Eva Longoria
Jessica Alba
Sienna Miller
Maddox Jolie-Pitt
Hugh Jackman
Colin Farrell

Hong
Johnny Depp
Orlando Bloom
Kelly Clarkson
Kate Bosworth
Heather Locklear
Jamie Foxx

Draft Recap and Analysis

2006-05-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

ONE
1. kat - Angelina Jolie
2. amit - Tom Cruise
3. ryan - Lindsay Lohan
4. lilly - Paris Hilton
5. des - Britney Spears
6. jon - Jennifer Aniston
7. janelle- Jessica Simpson
8. george - Nicole Ritchie
9. tabitha - Eva Longoria
10. hong - Johnny Depp

passing over the holy triumverate of blondes (paris, britney, jessica), kat takes angelina with the first overall draft choice. let's hope her faith in bradgelina's baby being born asap pans out (and it turns out it did). "us weekly" has exclusive rights to the jolie-pitt child so that pretty much assures cover points for kat and angelina.

in a shocker, britney spears' trashy ass drops all the way down to pick five where des was more than happy to take her in two seconds flat. however, britney's had two covers recently, so does that mean the tabloid queen is old news already?

clearly a reach at number six, jennifer aniston flies off the board ahead of stalwarts like jessica simpson and nicole ritchie. huge mistake or briliant anticipation?

TWO
10. hong - Orlando Bloom
9. tabitha - Jessica Alba
8. george - Kristin Cavalleri
7. janelle - Kevin Federline
6. jon - Nick Lachey
5. des - Denise Richards
4. lilly - Brad Pitt
3. ryan - Keira Knightley
2. amit - Teri Hatcher
1. kat - Sarah Jessica Parker

to start the second round, a true stunner as pretty boy hongshin picks pretty boy orlando bloom. pretty boys have to stick together i guess. better stock up on that plus sized bottle of "nair for men." our expert female analysts says that jessica alba is a strong pick because her elegant sense of style will never land her in a compromising position and despite a dearth of projects (not to mention actual acting ability) is featured most weeks in the magazine.

rumors indicate that that jessica simpson is lonely and looking for some comfort from ex-husband lachey. she was recently heard saying, "i have huge regrets about splitting with nicky, he's such a stud. i want him back." after much research, ryan reaches a little bit for keira knightley. he (and hong) better hope that pirates of the caribbean 2 gets huge media coverage.

THREE
1. kat - Matthew Mcconaughey
2. amit - Halle Berry
3. ryan - Jennifer Lopez
4. lilly - Vince Vaughn
5. des - Katie Holmes
6. jon - Gwen Stefani
7. janelle - Carmen Electra
8. george - Nicole Kidman
9. tabitha - Sienna Miller
10. hong - Kelly Clarkson

in a move every draft expert foresaw, amit takes his favorite gal, halle berry. the naacp celebrates. denzel's stock rises dramatically. super sleeper sienna miller is a quiet trendsetter and a darling of the media set. desiree, clearly doing her research from past issues, follows up recent hot news items britney and denise with katie -- are all three destined for a fall? or can they keep on trucking? in a move behind the times, jon selects gwen AFTER she already had her baby -- whoops. ms gharehmani continues with the patented "take the best player available" strategy. maybe she anticipates "brad versus vaughn, round 1" in a few weeks?

FOUR
10.hong - Kate Bosworth
9.tabitha -Maddox Jolie-Pitt
8.george - Taylor Hicks
7.janelle - Sean Preston Spears
6.jon - Ben Affleck
5.des - Ashton Kutcher
4.lilly - Katharine McPhee
3.ryan - Ryan Seacrest
2.amit - Paula Abdul
1.kat - Demi Moore

a vitriolic email was sent by an anonymous player accusing george of using a stall tactic on wednesday night to select recent american idol winner taylor hicks. george denies all allegations and used the cunning defense of, "ask jon g! ask jon g!" a rush of american idol selections follow up mr hicks. mcphee, seacrest, and paula all get taken in this round. simon is amusingly pissed. randy is sad he can't be one of the dawgs.

a tip of the hat goes to tabitha for breaking the barrier between young celebrities and young babies of celebrities. maddox jolie-pitt was much lusted after by many. after that insightful selection, janelle moves quickly to grab the first spears-federline spawn, thus completing the highly sought after male side of that family for her team.

FIVE
1.kat - Adam Brody
2.amit - George Clooney
3.ryan - David Arquette
4.lilly - Beyonce Knowles
5.des - Justin Timberlake
6.jon - Rachel McAdams
7.janelle -Mischa Barton
8.george - Matt Damon
9.tabitha - Hugh Jackman
10.hong - Jamie Foxx

SIX
10. Hong - Heather Locklear
9. Tabitha - Colin Farrell
8. George - Kingston James Mcgregor Rossdale
7. Janelle - Jude Law
6. Jon - Bruce Willis
5. Des - Jake Gyllenhaal
4. Lilly - Jack Black
3. Ryan. - Adam Sandler
2. Amit. - Patrick Dempsey
1. Kat - Gavin Rossdale

fliers are going out on the likes of david arquette, rachel mcadams, patrick dempsey, that kind of thing. can any one of these late round picks move up to all star status? their owners are hoping so. best pick in this round? maybe gavin rossdale, who might sneak in with some nice coverage. colin farrell might resume his partying ways too, with a new movie to promote. worst pick? we won't name names here.

The Rules

2006-05-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

draft
the draft will go like this: it's called a "snake draft" meaning we wrap around so #8 picks twice at the end of Rd 1 and the beginning of Rd 2.

Round 1: #1-10
Round 2: #10-1
Round 3: #1-10
Round 4: #10-1
etc

you can pick males or females in any order. so if you want to take 3 females before you take a male, that's fine. but you must take a total of 3 males and 3 females.

rosters
3 female celebrities
3 male celebrities

scoring system (each time one of your celebrities shows up, score it accordingly)

5 pts -- cover picture
3 pts -- cover inset picture
1 pt -- picture inside the magazine (each picture)
-2 pts --showing up in "they do it too!" or the bad "fashion police" section

each picture inside the magazine will be worth 1 point. as long as they are identifiable as your celebrity (all questionable pictures will be reviewed by the commissioner), the point is yours. backs of heads will not count unless it's clearly the celebrity in question.

there have been times in us weekly where they ran a calendar spread of a celebrity (lindsay lohan). the number of pictures included in those 2 pages were about 15. initially i wanted to set a cap for the number of points one could receive from a set of pictures. but for now, we'll just do the 1 point per picture.

so if there's some boxed feature about the many outfits of teri hatcher through the years and there are 5 pictures of her all side by side, it counts as 5 points. we may have to change this eventually. but for now, enjoy the windfall.

add/drops (waivers)
we will allow add/drops of new players from the release of the new issue, friday, until the following tuesday. the reason for shutting down is that by tuesday, you can find most of the new us weekly's contents online.

add/drops will work through a simple reverse order of standings from that week (so if i'm in last place, i get the first choice of waivers that week). the first week of competition, waivers will not be available.

once a player is dropped, they are not available for pick up until the week after they were dropped.

trades
trades are allowed. any combination of players can be traded. if more players are traded away than received, the roster will be filled out through the next waiver process.