Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Draft Recap and Analysis

1. kat - Angelina Jolie
2. amit - Tom Cruise
3. ryan - Lindsay Lohan
4. lilly - Paris Hilton
5. des - Britney Spears
6. jon - Jennifer Aniston
7. janelle- Jessica Simpson
8. george - Nicole Ritchie
9. tabitha - Eva Longoria
10. hong - Johnny Depp

passing over the holy triumverate of blondes (paris, britney, jessica), kat takes angelina with the first overall draft choice. let's hope her faith in bradgelina's baby being born asap pans out (and it turns out it did). "us weekly" has exclusive rights to the jolie-pitt child so that pretty much assures cover points for kat and angelina.

in a shocker, britney spears' trashy ass drops all the way down to pick five where des was more than happy to take her in two seconds flat. however, britney's had two covers recently, so does that mean the tabloid queen is old news already?

clearly a reach at number six, jennifer aniston flies off the board ahead of stalwarts like jessica simpson and nicole ritchie. huge mistake or briliant anticipation?

10. hong - Orlando Bloom
9. tabitha - Jessica Alba
8. george - Kristin Cavalleri
7. janelle - Kevin Federline
6. jon - Nick Lachey
5. des - Denise Richards
4. lilly - Brad Pitt
3. ryan - Keira Knightley
2. amit - Teri Hatcher
1. kat - Sarah Jessica Parker

to start the second round, a true stunner as pretty boy hongshin picks pretty boy orlando bloom. pretty boys have to stick together i guess. better stock up on that plus sized bottle of "nair for men." our expert female analysts says that jessica alba is a strong pick because her elegant sense of style will never land her in a compromising position and despite a dearth of projects (not to mention actual acting ability) is featured most weeks in the magazine.

rumors indicate that that jessica simpson is lonely and looking for some comfort from ex-husband lachey. she was recently heard saying, "i have huge regrets about splitting with nicky, he's such a stud. i want him back." after much research, ryan reaches a little bit for keira knightley. he (and hong) better hope that pirates of the caribbean 2 gets huge media coverage.

1. kat - Matthew Mcconaughey
2. amit - Halle Berry
3. ryan - Jennifer Lopez
4. lilly - Vince Vaughn
5. des - Katie Holmes
6. jon - Gwen Stefani
7. janelle - Carmen Electra
8. george - Nicole Kidman
9. tabitha - Sienna Miller
10. hong - Kelly Clarkson

in a move every draft expert foresaw, amit takes his favorite gal, halle berry. the naacp celebrates. denzel's stock rises dramatically. super sleeper sienna miller is a quiet trendsetter and a darling of the media set. desiree, clearly doing her research from past issues, follows up recent hot news items britney and denise with katie -- are all three destined for a fall? or can they keep on trucking? in a move behind the times, jon selects gwen AFTER she already had her baby -- whoops. ms gharehmani continues with the patented "take the best player available" strategy. maybe she anticipates "brad versus vaughn, round 1" in a few weeks?

10.hong - Kate Bosworth
9.tabitha -Maddox Jolie-Pitt
8.george - Taylor Hicks
7.janelle - Sean Preston Spears
6.jon - Ben Affleck
5.des - Ashton Kutcher
4.lilly - Katharine McPhee
3.ryan - Ryan Seacrest
2.amit - Paula Abdul
1.kat - Demi Moore

a vitriolic email was sent by an anonymous player accusing george of using a stall tactic on wednesday night to select recent american idol winner taylor hicks. george denies all allegations and used the cunning defense of, "ask jon g! ask jon g!" a rush of american idol selections follow up mr hicks. mcphee, seacrest, and paula all get taken in this round. simon is amusingly pissed. randy is sad he can't be one of the dawgs.

a tip of the hat goes to tabitha for breaking the barrier between young celebrities and young babies of celebrities. maddox jolie-pitt was much lusted after by many. after that insightful selection, janelle moves quickly to grab the first spears-federline spawn, thus completing the highly sought after male side of that family for her team.

1.kat - Adam Brody
2.amit - George Clooney
3.ryan - David Arquette
4.lilly - Beyonce Knowles
5.des - Justin Timberlake
6.jon - Rachel McAdams
7.janelle -Mischa Barton
8.george - Matt Damon
9.tabitha - Hugh Jackman
10.hong - Jamie Foxx

10. Hong - Heather Locklear
9. Tabitha - Colin Farrell
8. George - Kingston James Mcgregor Rossdale
7. Janelle - Jude Law
6. Jon - Bruce Willis
5. Des - Jake Gyllenhaal
4. Lilly - Jack Black
3. Ryan. - Adam Sandler
2. Amit. - Patrick Dempsey
1. Kat - Gavin Rossdale

fliers are going out on the likes of david arquette, rachel mcadams, patrick dempsey, that kind of thing. can any one of these late round picks move up to all star status? their owners are hoping so. best pick in this round? maybe gavin rossdale, who might sneak in with some nice coverage. colin farrell might resume his partying ways too, with a new movie to promote. worst pick? we won't name names here.

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